I Just Wanted to Play

None of you are going to believe this story; for that matter, I still don’t believe it and I was there. Shiba owners might believe me, but only because they know that these dogs are completely insane. In fact, they aren’t really dogs at all, but escaped mental patients disguised as dogs. Once you accept this fact dealing with them stops causing you to cry in a corner.

This story starts at 4:30am. I was sound asleep dreaming of the good days when I was rudely awakened by a whimpering dog. I assume that he needs to go to the restroom as he’s only 4 months old and can’t always hold it through the night. So I open his kennel and he bolts out the door, running the Shiba 500 at 4:30 am (yes this is way before the crack of dawn). When I finally catch him, and put his harness on, I proceed to drag him out of the door.

Once we finally make it out of the door, and make it to his favorite pump and dump spot, I realize he doesn’t want to go to the restroom at all; he just wants to play.  Unfortunately for him there is no software engineer on the planet who is in a playing mood after being awakened at 4:30 am by a demon in dog form, so I drag him kicking and screaming back into the house, where I proceed to stuff him back in his kennel.

After waking up from my alarm clock at 6am, and taking him out to do his morning routine, which he completes with due haste. I decide that I should probably play with him in order to redirect his energy away from eating my apartment; it’s better if he spends that time sleeping. In his excitement, he bit me. I don’t mean mouthing, I mean bit, hard. I still have the whelts on my hand 3 hours later. This is the part of this story where I restrain myself from breaking his legs. I immediately stopped playing with him, let out a loud “ouch” sound, and gave him a “no” which is his non mark.

After feeding and watering the dog, and getting myself ready for work, I finally start out of my door, glad that I can escape to something relaxing, like work. I quickly realized that I forgot something and walk back into the house which makes Loki extremely excited to see me. He is so excited, in fact, that he jumps in the air, nearly turning a back-flip, and lands right in his water dish. If you have been reading this blog, you know he doesn’t like water. It is, in fact, his arch nemesis.

He let out the patented Shiba Scream, probably waking up all of my neighbors. Water flies everywhere, all over my cabinets, the floor, and the dog; he is dripping wet with water and not happy about it. His instinct is to bolt, but he’s wet and on a tile floor, so he starts slipping and sliding all over the place, making the matter even worse.  After getting the mess cleaned up, and restocking his water dish, I finally depart to work, where I can relax.

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